Is it ok to have a good day?

I had a good day today, despite the sinus infection I've been dealing with. It was a warm day today, blue sky, faint breeze. I spent the day watching the kids, I mean really watching them. Sam and his best friend, Kevin coaxed me and Kevin's mom, Becky out to buy flowers. Sam had to talk me into it; I was wiping the dust off one of the shelves we have the Gordon memorabilia... but he said it was all a done deal, make a phone call, exucse yourself from the family occasion and go buy flowers.

There is something about Becky that gives me the space to just be me. Not that others don't allow that... Dr. Phil would raise his eyebrows at me as 'we give others permission on how to treat us', or something like that. Anyway... I like Becky. She's the real deal. And, maybe that is why I feel like being me around her. Anyway... we went to buy flowers. I am not a spur of the moment person when it comes to hanging out with others. I'll find excuses not to do something involving spending time with others. But, I did it. we bought flowers.

I don't know shit about flowers. I know that I like them. I know that various textures I like more than others. But, I could not tell you a single thing about how to care for them. But, Becky does. But, Becky didn't blab away about knowing stuff about flowers. I like that, too.

I bought black eye susan's because they remind me of daisies with an attitude; I bought a cool little plant called a thymus, because the leaves were so tiny and cute; and we bought some tomato plants and a glob of seeds. And, I just handed over the backyard to Sam and Kevin. Who cares? It's grass and dirt. They will be 16, and then 17 and then I don't wanna talk about it. I love that Sam has a friend in Kevin and that they find comfort and joy in digging in the dirt together. That is perfection, as far as I can tell.

I like that Georgia took the shovel and dug a hole here and there for her flowers. she planted them, watered them and admired them. I like that we had a good day. We were a part of the world today, not a part of our sadness. Our sadness did not slow us down. Our hope for happiness moved us forward.