You Make My Dreams Come True

Who will it be? That is the question that has gnawed at me the last week or so.

Let me explain; I have an assignment in one of my courses in which I need to talk about a loved one who has died. I have the unusual situation that I have several people to choose from: mom, my husband, Gordon, my sister, Ann and my brother, Sam. I loved and continue to love them a great deal. They still 'walk around' with me, some more than others. So, who do I choose?

At first, the obvious choice was Gordon, as it was a suicide, blah, blah, blah. I have to admit that I actually thought about who would grab the attention of the class more, and, whose name could I mention easiest without it catching in my throat. I think it was more about that, who could I talk about the easiest and, in terms of self protection, who could I talk about and not become too much of a bowl of mush?

This has really bugged me. The instructor did not ask for us to select someone who we loved more than others, nothing like that. It's a simple assignment. I'm sure the reason is to help us budding social workers get a feel for what it is like for a client to talk about a loved one who has died. I get it.

Tonight, at my support meeting for those who have lost someone to suicide, it hit me: Ann. It was clear to me, because there was discussion about dreams, and I have had alot of lovely dreams about Ann in the last several months.

When I got in the car, and was thinking more about my decision, one of Ann's favorite songs came on, Hall and Oate's "You Make My Dreams Come True". I actually said aloud, 'Ann, ok, I get it!' and I laughed a little. Thank you, Ann. I miss you so much, but you are with me, and once again, helped me out.