What's the use of working somewhere where no one else wants to be there? I am so sick and tired of holding the bag for a program that will probably fail under my leadership. And, it's not like I chose to lead this; it happened by default. It wasn't 'here, you are qualified' it was, 'oh, you are the only one left'. I hate this. Every decision is scrutinized. Every detail is my responsibility and if it's the wrong decision, I hear about it. Board? Where is everyone? No one wants to be on the board. They said that they'd be there, and then don't show. I give up. I wish I could just quit right now.
I tried to be home today, sick with stomach upsets. And, the phone rang all day long. Can a person NOT be sick? I have no interest in continuing this pace and have to make changes. It's not good for the kids and I. I just want to raise my kids in peace. The mom that comes home to them is not the mom that left that morning. I am cranky, resntful, and more than anything, exhausted. And, it's not worth it.
My job is running my life. And, I can't go down this road anymore. It doesn't help that the place where I work is also in the church where I belong. This is messing up my relationship with my church, because I hate my job. And, it's a great job, for the right people, not persons. If it is to be done right, then there has to be more participation. And, there isn't. Nothing. The few people that raise issues, and good issues at that, aren't interested in helping with a solution.
I am done. No more decisions. Either the 'board' makes them, or, they aren't going to get done.
I've just had it.
1 comment:
wow what a bad day, I thought about trying to give you some advice and then I thought back to a lesson I learned from my wife. Sometimes she did not want an answer just to be able to voice her problems outloud and just have someone listen. I can't help myself , try to put it in God's hands. Blessings to you
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