My bed. My bed is the safest place for me. It's warm and inviting and allows me time to rest. It's a sacred area of my home. It is my lover. I bought this bed when I had cancer. I wanted something more comfortable. And, it's been so helpful to me. I can't hardly stay away from it, though. It is the place to retreat to. I read on it; fold laundry on it; watch television on it; pay bills on it, but most of all, I sleep IN it. It's sacred to me.
I just ate a pile of toast. I find this to be a small miracle, as I rarely eat breakfast. It's so quiet here at home before I head to work; I find myself wanting to take a quick nap before going off to work... maybe I will? I paid the bills, fed the dogs and cats, got the kids off to school.... I know I should be out, walking or something like that, but, instead, I'll probably take a snooze.
The voice I hear inside has changed. It's more forgiving, more nurturing, more loving. Who is it? Who cares for me? Is it me? Am I starting to forgive myself and care for myself? Is this really happening? Why do I not panic about my job ending? Because I've been through so much worse. Somehow, things will improve. God takes care of the widows, right?
1 comment:
It is strange how your blogs often remind me of my wife. I swear I am not making this up. My wife started a small cancer foundation for cancer survivors and really poored herself into it. I believe she was an insperation to many, I am trying to continue the foundation but it is overwhelming at times. But that is not what you reminded me of today. When my wife was lat diagnosed about a year and a half before she passed away she was having quite a bit of bone pain in her hip. I went out of town for work a couple of days and she went to stay with a friend of hers. She wound up sleeping on her friend Nancey's new bed alexus allure made by Johnson City bedding in Tn. She slept better and her the pain was less in the mornings when she got up. So now I begin to get to the point. Her friend nancey saw how well she slept, and then on the corner of her bed it said something of the affect (some proceds from the sale go to Breast cancer research. She then got the idea to write a letter to the president of the company and told him all that susie was doing and how she slept in it and felt better could the give her a bed. Well yes they did that for us. This was a very comfortable bed and Susie did all the things over the next year and a half or so you talk about doing, I don't mean only at the end when she could barely get out of bed but even when she was feeling fairly well after we quit chemo and she still felt half way decent at times. The bed was her sanctuairy if Susie were to write about her bed she would have said something very similar to what you wrote. And my thoughts about God taking care of widows, I am sure he will, we just need to have the faith to let him do it. blessings to you kevin
Post a Comment