The Love Boat

Wanted: Job that is interesting, well paying and not too demanding. Co-workers that don't ask a lot of questions and could become friends. A job that would allow for flexibility when kids stuff comes up.

So I have to find a job. It isn't even my choice anymore, the choice has been made for me. I think that is the only way it was going to happen. Dammit. I am really bummed about it, because as much as it drives me crazy, it's a job, that I understand, where everyone knows my story and where I don't have to wear pantyhose if I dont want to. That's worth a lot these days. And, the pay is ok for me.

I decided that taking care of myself includes wearing makeup so that when I look in the mirror, I'm not quite as depressed. It also means going shopping and getting some clothes that look like I am working, not hanging out, which is the way my clothes make me look that I can wear to work.

I also joined an on line dating service. What the hell am I thinking? Good lord. I wouldn't know what to do on a date. It's been 19 years. And, I probably weigh 19 tons more than I did. What am I thinking?

I'm also ready to send the dogs packing.. they are destroying the carpeting. And, one of them is completely neurotic, and if we are separated, she barks non friggin stop. She cannot be outside alone, and, if she is in the house, we have to be together, and, then she saunters into one of the kids' rooms and takes a crap. What is that? Why keep these dogs? My house smells like a barn. And, carpet cleaners and lysol smell some but don't cover up all of the smell. I hate this. The kids would freak, though, so can't do it.

The guys on this on line dating thing that have 'looked' at me, look just like Gordon. What is that about? And, I figured I'd go for other widowers. Not like they don't have baggage though. I think I will abandon this idea, because I can't think of anything worse than going on a date.

Tomorrow is Monday. Ugh.