The End of the Big, Fat Cow

God, we have a lot of trash. We have more trash than anyone on our cul de sac. I used to think it was neat to live on a cul de sac. But, it means nothing. We have a lot of trash. At the mailbox, I stepped on a large pile of starbursts. What the hell? I only like the red ones. And, even those make me sweat. I think I am the only person in the world that sweats when they eat starburst. For god sake, pick up your spilled starbursts!

I am really sick of Christmas lights and decorations. Oooooooo, ahhhhhhhhh.... look at that. oooooooo. Rip them down and put them away already. Or, seeing a pumpkin AND lights at the same house, in January. I could totally lose it.

I'm pissed off about my laptop. Remember the laptop that I got for myself? Well, bought Windows XP for it, even though the guy at the laptop place acted like I was buying some sort of illegal stuff.... anyway, I'm not good enough on the computer to know how to download free software stuff (his suggestion).... I just bought the Windows and that was it. So, I start installing it, and it's chugging along..... and then, it just friggin stops. Reboots my little laptop reports some missing file that means nothing..... So, I start it again..... and, again, and again, and AGAIN. Fuck! I want this to work!!!

So, I bring it to the laptop place. The guy is like 'well, it's NOT the computer, I can assure you. It's gotta be the software.' Huh? I just opened the package and put the disk in! So, he said, 'wel, we can load the software for you, so you know it's done right, but it will cost you $60.' At this point, I'd do anything to have this laptop working so I can go home. 'Ok', I said. I surrender the laptop and the software and he says I'm at the 'top of the list' and that it will be done in two days. Well, that was on Tuesday. Today is Saturday. I went to the store yesterday after work to get it, and, they cannot figure out the problem. I am pissed. 'We try loading the software and it goes only so far, and stops'. Yeah, I told you so. But, he looks at my sheepishly and says, 'we have a tech coming in first thing in the morning to work on this, call us tomorrow'. I didn't even bother to. Why ruin a Saturday? They better get this done. Dammit. I've watched enough Sopranos episodes lately that I'll, 'flip him' if I have to.... no, actually, I'll just politely ask for a refund, which, several signs in the store say they don't do. Why the hell did I buy this? Dammit.

And, the computer guys just make me feel so friggin dumb. Ha ha, they can't fix it, either. Ha ha. I wish I could assume a Tony Soprano feel and make them feel a little scared. But, me and my blue Ford don't do a whole lot in the intimidation department.

My oldest sister's birthday was tonight. We all got together for dinner at The Olive Garden. God, I could eat my weight in bread sticks and salad. But, it was 80 degrees in there and it took almost an hour to get our food. I wish I had been drinking, but, was just drinking diet coke. I didn't eat fatty stuff, though. And, I nixed the birthday cake. I even brought a doggie bag home. After watching Star Jones, who, looks completely freaky to me now that she's lost 200 lbs. or whatever the hell, anyway, I can do this. According to the scale, I've lost 8.5 lbs. Now, that tells me one thing: I'm a big, fat cow. To lose THAT much in a week, is pretty bad.

Trash. The people across the street have NO trash. None. I don't understand it. Our trash, looks like TRASH. No fancy bags. Just the giant City of Lawrence trashcans, PACKED with trash. Even our driveway is starting to look ragged, too. The house just screams, 'single mom with TEENAGERS!!!' And, then there are the well maniucred lawns to and fro. I don't get it. I try. Lights. I am always turning off lights. Televisions. Good lord. And, I have kids sleeping over all of the time. I am not sure why. People like to hang out here, I guess. And, if the kids are here, then I know where they are. I'd much rather the teenage son being home hanging out with his friends, watching documentaries, arguing politics, downloading 8,000 songs, then out driving around. Right? Am I convincing? Right?