Just Go to Bed, for God's Sake!

Today was a good day, and the big dif for concept, me was that I actually slept! Amazing concept. I used to hate it when me mom would say, 'oh, just go to bed!'

Great day today. The fog has lifted. Got the old hair cut, doesn't look bad, got the grey hair dyed, got some stuff at work done that had been eating away at me.... just a much better day. Went to the cemetery, and didn't cry so much. It was ok.

Someone suggested to me the other day to 'concentrate on those things I CAN change' kind of the old serenity prayer idea. And, what good advice. Can't bring Gordon back, or Sam, or Ann, or mom, or, even my left boob. But, I can do things to improve what I have, to get as much out of life as possible.


The dogs are sleeping on a mountain of laundry in my room. They have found their version of bliss. The cats are sleeping on my bed. I can't imagine spending my life without pets. I just wish that Lola would stop humping Roger! It is so embarrassing.

One of my sisters actually reads this blog, and, I know I've crossed the line when she calls and says, 'Uh, Rose, I read your blog..... call me?' So, then I kind of visit with her about the content of my blog, but it provides a good time to put things into perspective. But, this blog, I wanna talk about her.

She's an amazing woman, and I suspect she doesn't hear that often. Here is a woman who has raised two boys, alone, walked through a horrendous marriage and another relationship with another man, and made it through both; she's nearly died several times due to shabby kidneys, survived a transplant; and, all of the people have lost, she has, too; and she cares for VA patients who, from what it sounds like, no one else will care for. She gardens, she cookis, she is a bible scholar, and she doesn't take crap.

One thing that is extremely helpful to me, is that she demonstrates to me that a woman doesn't really need a man! All of the good decisions, she did, sans man. All of the less than good decisions, there was a guy there to muck it up. She brings out the best in herself. That is an incredibly great thing. She's her own best bud, and I like that, too. Her sons, are, as far as I am concerned, just about perfect. I love them with all of my heart, and would do anything for them. They are fabulous young men, with good hearts, amazingly accurate judges of character and believers in Christ. Wow. And, their lives were not easy. But, what they witnessed with their mom is to Never Give Up. She never quit. I've never heard her say, 'I just Quit'. Nope. She's amazing. Phoniness? Forget it. You can't try to impress her, because she's already figured you out. She's very loyal and very strong. So, I just want to say in this blog, how much I love her, and how lucky I am to be her little sis, even though I was a real bitch to her when we were teenagers! We hated one another, but, maybe we just needed to go to bed and get some rest?