Laundry and loss

Dogs snoring, laundry piling up. Tired. Really tired, and need to go to bed. Tomorrow we celebrate dad's birthday. I suppose being 75 is a good thing. He buried two children and his wife. Both of his parents are gone now. But, he hasn't buried a brother. He has a relationship with a, ahem, woman. She hates all of us, and there is no love lost between us. She is about 20 years younger than him. He had a relationship with her, but not with his grandkids. He has 6 grandkids. They are great kids. They love him, admire him. But, he shows little interest in them. I don't understand that. I really don't understand that. Now, mom would have. Despite her many faults, she was a caring grandparent. She sought out her grandkids, and put herself out there to get to know them.

I think that maybe part of this is, dad protects his time and his feelings after having lost so so much. He lost his only son. He lost his oldest daughter. The death of his son, my brother, nearly killed him. I worried about him, and relaly worried it would kill him. How does a person keep getting up every morning after having lost two kids? How does this happen? And, when will he be honest about what it must feel like?

The hell with the laundry. A good nights' sleep would be beter than staying up late and feeling like this. Tomorrow is a new day.