Ahhhhh, Helen

I woke up this morning with this nagging feeling that something was important about this day. In a few minutes, I figured out that 11 years ago today, my mom passed away.

I don't bring this up to talk about how sad it is that today is August 3rd. I bring it up instead to say that I wasn't sad all day, every minute, thinking of her death. I have real peace about mom.

Mom was complicated. Mom struggled with substance abuse and mental illness and the residual effects of a horrible childhood. And, then, she had six kids, the oldest of whom she had the courage to give up for adoption as she was unmarried and very young. I will always admire her for that. And, her son turned out to be adopted into a loving, healthy family. And, today, he is a loving, healthy, wonderful dad.

I think that was one of many good decisions that she made.

When I was a kid, mom did not do alot for us. As soon as we were old enough, we learned how to do things for ourselves: I remember learning how to say grace, at the big table. I remember learning how to properly make my bed, do the dishes and sew a button. Mom wanted us all to be self sufficient.

Mom's reply to questions we'd pose was 'look it up'. We would be pointed towards the newspaper, the phone book or the big, brown encycopedia set in the diningroom for the answers to our questions. I am sure she knew the answers some of the time but she pointed us in that direction. She understood that the process of discovery is as important as the discovery itself.

Although I found this really annoying at times, this skill, of not being discouraged by not knowing has done me well. And, my sisters are the same way. If there is an answer to a question, we'll eventually figure it out. And, we won't be relying on others to discover it for us.

Mom would be so proud of her grandchildren. Oh, she would be so proud. Her oldest, Ben is a very talented, self-taught musician. Ben loves the lord, and studies the word, on his own. I suspect that he will be rewarded with a loving spouse someday, when the right one comes along! I totally believe that.

Josh is a charismatic, sweet, talented family man. He married a beautiful young lady who brings out the very best in Josh. He has two great step daughters. Josh is the best husband I know, and given he grew up without a father, I am so impressed with the kind of parent he has become. Sam is a thoughtful artist. He's a work in progress; I don't know what Sam will do, but, what I do know, is that Sam knows... Sam. And, Sam is a kind hearted young man, without a mean bone in his body. His talent and good heart will carry him forward. Alex is probably one of the smartest guys I know. I imagine that mom would take a special shining to Alex as he has alot to say, about alot of things. Georgia is the only granddaughter, and after a rough go of it, is finding her way, with a real talent, too in art and all things artistic. She, too has a kind heart and is the most loyal friend I've
ever seen. Jack is an amazing musician. He is smart and talented and wise beyond his years.

I like to think that mom had a part in who each of them has become. I am not discounting what the parents of all of these grand kids has contributed, but, I am certain mom had a part in who they have become.

Mom loved to cook and was really, really good at it. I always watch the movie, 'Julie and Julia' because it reminds me of watching Julia Child with mom when I was a little girl. Mom taught herself how to cook, and she has at least two daughters, Sarah and Kathy, my sisters who have a passion for it, too. I am ok at it, but, they are amazing at it.

Mom had a green thumb, too and both Kathy and Sarah don't seem to be able to kill any plant. Again, that comes in part from mom.

What did I get from mom? I got in insatiable appetite for movies and books and current events. I love music. I love knowing about my community and more than anything, helping those who are vulnerable. Thanks, mom.

I miss you, mom, but love the gifts you gave us all. Thank you for sharing yourself with us.